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Post by Pilgrim John on May 13, 2007 20:03:43 GMT -5
Awesome writing dude! It kicks ass! haha And you are a chicken. >Poof!< |
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 3, 2007 14:27:53 GMT -5
Hmm, looks like I had accidentally ended my last story entry with only two or so paragraphs left in the chapter. :/ Well, here are the last wee sentences of chapter fourteen. The Captain growled what one may guess to be an ugly word under his breath. After a few seconds of deep thought, Jim sighed and said, “Fine.” He pointed his finger sternly in Christopher’s direction. “But you only get one more shot. Turn him back to normal, full and healed.” “Wh-What if I can’t?” Jim’s face had become one of Christopher’s deepest fears at that precise moment that he scowled. The crusty pirate captain leaned closer to Christopher and narrowed his eyes. He threatened, in slow, bass-guitar-note technique, “Then you’re stuck here.” Sorry for the mediocre post.  But don't worry! Chapter 15 comes soon, along with the much-dreaded battle against the Strongman! |
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Post by benwayshouse on Jun 3, 2007 14:32:31 GMT -5
PJ, would you consider written stories 'art?'
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Post by fatherlorris on Jun 3, 2007 15:54:34 GMT -5
The impetus for art is often called human creativity, so it would be.
But whether or not PJ sees it that way is a a different matter.
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Post by Waffle Monger on Jun 3, 2007 18:39:02 GMT -5
You know what John? I have nothing to do over the summer... is it alright if I put it up on my website and give you credit for your story? If you wouldn't mind, would you also like to send me images and such to my email: acid_kat_remix@hotmail.com
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 3, 2007 21:02:55 GMT -5
You know what John? I have nothing to do over the summer... is it alright if I put it up on my website and give you credit for your story? If you wouldn't mind, would you also like to send me images and such to my email: acid_kat_remix@hotmail.com I guess all that depends. I'm going to go back and maybe rewrite a few scenes, correct some errors and plot inconsistencies after I finish Book One. (There are about Four Books in the series, I think.) I guess you could do that after I'm done with that. |
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 5, 2007 14:40:47 GMT -5
Ready for chapter fifteen?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The warehouse in question had been abandoned several years ago for shady reasons, and wasn’t looking in good shape. The building’s color, once a vibrant red, had grayed and was as paled and sorrowful-looking as a woman whose lover had abandoned her. Its shape and upkeep reflected its pitiful, colorless image: dusty, crud-embedded windows, missing frames, chipped pieces of everything, a pile of broken wood and destroyed furnishings lying out in the open. The boards on the windows had mostly fallen away from years of rot, and the sign above the warehouse entrance was almost completely bleached by the sun.
As the police and SWAT teams swarmed around the warehouse like an army ready to attack, Dan and Lorris stayed a few feet away from the scene. What lay inside? Dan wondered. He looked up at the ever-graying sky, swearing that something extremely bad was about to go down. He knew John had to be inside the warehouse, along with the killer. John was able to defend himself, Dan knew, but if anything were to happen to him…
Dan shook his head, waiving negative thoughts. There’d be times for that later. Right now, he had to think of a way to get inside, past the police. He looked to his right to see Lorris talking to the policemen from before.
“So this is where he’s been holed up all along? Doesn’t look like much,” huffed the big gruffy detective. He scratched at his thick stubble, remembering suddenly that he had not shaved in well over a month.
Lorris looked up at the detectives with his usual quizzical look. His wide eyes blinked once or twice before he looked back at the warehouse. “I hope your plan isn’t to storm the place. He DOES have a hostage.”
“We know,” said the other detective. He lit up another cigarette as he walked toward the warehouse. “But this guy IS responsible for many deaths. We’ll have to figure out a way to get the hostage out alive.”
Lorris turned away from the detectives and lumbered towards Dan in his own awkward, ape-like way. The detectives began talking to other policemen who were about, discussing plans and such.
“You friend is in there.”
After a short silence, Dan replied, “I know. We’ll need to get him out ourselves so the police don’t turn him in to the government.”
“Agreed.”
Lorris and Dan were speaking in whispers, stopping every so often as a police officer grew too close to listen to their conversation. “There’s probably an entrance inside there from the sewers,” Lorris said, softly.
Dan thought some more before he whispered back. “How do we know where to come in?”
“We don’t. That’s what’s gonna be tricky.”
“Lorris, we can’t—”
The two stopped as a policeman walked by. After he passed, Dan resumed.
“Lorris, we don’t have all day to play a guessing game. We need to get John out of there, and fast. Before the killer kills him, and before the police get him.”
Lorris nodded. “Yes, I realized how risky this plan was.” He began to scratch his right leg. “With any luck, both parties—the killer and the police—will be so busy combating each other, we can rescue John from under their noses and slip out of town fast enough.”
Dan choked. “THAT’S your plan? It’s crazy!”
Lorris stopped scratching his leg and looked back up at Dan. “Like I said, there’s a relatively small chance of success—about eight percent at most—but there’s no other way.”
Dan clenched his fists and teeth, trying his hardest not to stuff his knuckles into Lorris’ stupid face. Lorris attempted to calm down his reluctant ally. “Listen. The longer this drags on, the more dangerous the situation becomes, and the chances of this even succeeding at all diminish quickly. We’ll have to work fast.”
Lorris started over to the street. Dan looked his way, wondering where he was going. Lorris looked to his side, expecting to see Dan following him. He looked behind him with an irritated look Dan had seen before, then motioned his head for Dan to follow him.
After Dan and Lorris slid slickly by the growing crowd of onlookers and jolly-watchers, they finally reached a manhole in the middle of the street. “Okay,” Lorris said, “This is it. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“Good, I wasn’t about to take a ‘no.’”
Dan used his muscular arms to lift the 20-pound manhole and slide it over as Lorris kept a lookout in case anyone was watching. After Lorris made sure the coast was clear, the two began their sewer voyage, unsure of what horrors they may face.
* * * * * *
MacGyver cursed beneath his breath as he watched those two idiots enter the sewer. That was HIS secret entrance! Apparently, that wench had revealed more to that meddlesome monkey than he had realized. If he had to confront those two boneheads, he supposed he’d have to.
Not like their bodies would be discovered if he tossed them into the sewage drain anyway.
He put down his binoculars and readied his trusty handgun, packed some ammo in his pockets, and just for good measure, took along with him his pocketknife and another handgun. Plus more ammo, of course.
He exited his car, parked by the side of a road not far from the sewer entrance. After making sure everyone’s attention was fixated on the surrounding of the warehouse, he ducked into the sewers after the ape and the lion.
It was time to rock.
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Post by fatherlorris on Jun 5, 2007 15:43:08 GMT -5
about eight percent at most Reminds me of the Leroy Jenkins video, 'I'm coming up with 32.33 repeating of course, percentage of survival'. He is my idol BTW. |
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 5, 2007 18:59:53 GMT -5
about eight percent at most Reminds me of the Leroy Jenkins video, 'I'm coming up with 32.33 repeating of course, percentage of survival'. He is my idol BTW. I have never heard of Jenkins. But making up a plan that has little chance of success right on the spot in the middle of a crisis has always been an enthralling plot device to me. (Believe it or not, Lorris is making up his plan as he goes along.) If we're lucky I may be able to post a few scenes every other day. In the meantime, let's try to keep this thread going--BUT NO SPAM. |
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Post by ruben_gamer4life on Jun 6, 2007 21:44:34 GMT -5
Pilgrim John how long are you planning to make the story?
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 7, 2007 17:27:57 GMT -5
Pilgrim John how long are you planning to make the story? That's a good question. I still don't have an ending in mind, although, of course, there's supposed to be a big confrontation against Mephisto near the end. I'm currently hoping to finish the series in about four Books. :/ |
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Post by ruben_gamer4life on Jun 12, 2007 9:45:13 GMT -5
O.o thats a lot of books
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Post by fatherlorris on Jun 12, 2007 15:23:56 GMT -5
.......IT'S L, thats it L. I was trying to think of who my character reminded me of, knew it was from death note, but I don't watch it that much so I couldn't recollect his name.
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Post by Pilgrim John on Jun 12, 2007 19:50:43 GMT -5
.......IT'S L, thats it L. I was trying to think of who my character reminded me of, knew it was from death note, but I don't watch it that much so I couldn't recollect his name. Crap! You figured it out. Now I can't say he's entirely original.  Nuts. Well, his hair is green, plus he's actually skinnier than L. Plus, his arms are longer.  |
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Post by fatherlorris on Jun 13, 2007 10:50:17 GMT -5
.......IT'S L, thats it L. I was trying to think of who my character reminded me of, knew it was from death note, but I don't watch it that much so I couldn't recollect his name. Crap! You figured it out. Now I can't say he's entirely original. Nuts. Well, his hair is green, plus he's actually skinnier than L. Plus, his arms are longer. It was bugging me for a long time now. Was it also the reason you hosted it on photo bucket rather that deviant art? or is that just a wild theory? |
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